How to Manage Gossip in Your Medical Practice: Fifteen Strategies

It seems so harmless. The friendly banter on Monday morning between your employees as they share weekend details about themselves and so-and-so. The debate over someone’s relationship with someone else. The speculation about a coworker or a patient. And even the accurate sharing of information about others with coworkers and patients who have no need to know it. Are these examples of harmless chitchat, or of gossip? Is there a difference? And does it matter?

According to Abbajay,(1) there is a huge difference between chitchat and gossip, one that medical practice managers need to understand. Chitchat, or informal conversation not tied to work tasks, can help people to feel more connected with one another. Your employees and patients may naturally want to share their personal experiences, interests, and ideas with one another to feel closer. They may also converse informally as a way to break the ice, to demonstrate their trust, to put others at ease, to be liked, and even to initiate and foster friendships. Such value-neutral or positive conversation can help your employees and patients to build morale, to feel more rooted in and loyal to your medical practice, and, ultimately, to feel that they are valued members of a caring community. In short, chitchat is not harmful and may, in fact, be beneficial both for the individuals and for your medical practice. As long as chitchat doesn’t interfere with work tasks, practice managers should accept it.

Gossip, on the other hand, is a remark or conversation that has negative and destructive consequences, or the potential to be negative and destructive. It may or may not be intentionally nasty and unkind. Nonetheless, gossip often is unkind, or at least insensitive, and it is most definitely dangerous and damaging. As Abbajay warns, gossip is especially difficult to manage because it has an insidious, almost viral quality. It can start out slowly and innocently as a small remark here or there. But it can pick up momentum fast. Left unchecked, gossip can and often will “run amok,” Abbajay says, and leave a path of embarrassment, hurt, and mistrust behind it. Eventually, gossip can and will poison a workplace. It has the potential to make your medical practice difficult for you to manage, and turn it into a place where your employees and patients will not want to remain, Abbajay warns.

Fortunately, there are several strategies a medical practice manager can use to discourage, control, and otherwise manage the spread of gossip. However, it is not sufficient or effective simply to tell employees not to gossip. Employees may not know that they are gossiping, or care that they are. And, as Stoneburner(2) warns, it won’t do simply to tell gossiping employees to “shut up and go back to work.” That may stop the immediate conversation, she says, but it won’t get at the root of the problem. As Robinson-Celeste(3) found from her own experiences managing others, “It wasn’t just enough to put my foot down and tell staff to stop gossiping. I had to develop a formal training program to educate my staff on how gossip affected others and how it damages them.”

Therefore, the place for medical practice managers to begin is with a firm foundation in what gossip is and isn’t, and the motivation behind gossip. They then need to train their staff about the pitfalls of gossiping. Finally, they need to establish and implement a number of policies to control gossip. We will explore these topics below.

What is Gossip? A Ten-Question Test

Although chitchat can be value-neutral or positive, gossip is (or has potential to be) negative, inflammatory, and embarrassing to the person being spoken of. Technically, any sharing of trivial or unsubstantiated information can be considered gossip. But in practice, Abbajay suggests, the medical practice manager must consider the sentiment to determine if talk is gossip or not. For example, suppose that it was rumored that one of your employees is being promoted, and an employee discusses it with a coworker. If the discussion is hurtful, damaging, or negative, Abbajay says, it is gossip. But if it’s value-neutral or positive, it’s not.

Gossip also can be talk that hurts your bottom line. As Robinson-Celeste explains, you must first consider the actual time your employees spend gossiping as unproductive work time. But even more so, you must consider the wasted time and productivity after the gossip has been unleashed as employees continue to think about it, and as the people being gossiped about learn what has been said about them, and react to it. As Robinson-Celeste explains of her own experiences managing an office where gossip ran rampant, “I constantly had people in my office in tears because someone was telling lies on them and other people were spreading rumors that were heard in town.” Robinson-Celeste estimates that millions of dollars are lost every year in the United States to gossip, adding together the costs of the salary and employee benefits per hour being wasted by it. As Abbajay aptly puts it, “Gossip is the death of teamwork as the group breaks up into cliques and employees start refusing to work with others.” The costs can be even higher, Abbajay says, as the manager wastes an enormous amount of his or her own time, and that of others, trying to figure out who said what to whom. For more information about gossip in workplaces in the United States, see the sidebar, “How Rampant Is Workplace Gossip?”

It can be tricky to determine whether a remark is value-neutral, positive, or negative. But it’s important for medical practice managers to do so. As Schwantes(4) suggests, “When light conversation and idle chitchat elevates to negative, inflammatory, and embarrassing to the person being spoken of, you’ve ventured into gossip terrain, which, in HR speak, is a form of attack and workplace violence.” Schwantes suggests that a sudden worsening of the work environment may indicate that you have an office gossip problem. For example, if you experience a gradual decline of trust and morale, decreased work productivity, increased anxiety and tension, divisiveness as people take sides, or a loss of good talent who leave citing a toxic work environment, you may have a gossip problem.

Following is a 10-question test to determine if talk is gossip or not. Use it as a tool to help you assess the gossip potential of the talk in your office. And share this tool with your employees as part of their gossip training. A remark or conversation can be considered to be gossip if it:

1. Rejoices and takes pleasure in the misfortune of others;

2. Has a negative emotional charge;

3. Seems to perpetuate conflict and/or negativity;

4. Potentially hurts or damages the one or ones being spoken of;

5. Would not be said to the person, or in front of the person;

6. Is an unsubstantiated rumor about another person;

7. Excludes others by developing a culture of “us” and “them,” of those in the know and those not;

8. Pulls rank by giving speakers and listeners a false sense of moral superiority;

9. Ruins reputations; and/or

10. Reveals personal information to others who have no need to know it.

Why People Gossip

Why do people gossip, even though it has the potential for doing so much harm? There are several possible explanations. For one thing, people who gossip may not realize that they are gossiping. They may think that what they are saying is value neutral. For another, they may recognize that they are gossiping, but not see the harm in it. They may think that gossip remains confidential, so it won’t hurt anyone. Or they may think that there is nothing wrong with spreading facts or speculations about other people. Another possible explanation is that people who gossip enjoy it and get something they want out of it, at least at some level. As Layne(5) suggests, “For many employees, gossip in the workplace is a frequent guilty pleasure.”

Some people believe that our biology may be at play. In fact, Daskal(6) suggests that human beings are hardwired to enjoy gossip. As she explains, “[Gossip is] part of our biological makeup as social beings.” Specifically, Daskal suggests that gossiping boosts levels of serotonin and other positive hormones, which reduces our stress and anxiety. “When we gossip, we’re taking an interest in what other people have to say and vice versa, and bonding with them makes us feel happier, releasing those good-feeling chemicals,” Daskal explains. Daskal also argues that gossip may be rooted in human evolution. When we share inside information about another person who is absent, Daskal suggests, we may be spreading important news and enacting a mutually protective ritual. This suggests that gossip may be anthropologically linked to our individual survival and to the survival of our species, Daskal says.

Beyond these biological and evolutionary arguments, there is also the possibility that gossip in some way feeds the worst parts of ourselves. As Campbell(7) explains, “A pesky gossip is aware that reputation is everything in business and that a reputation tarnished is nearly impossible to recover. They [sic] strategize to ruin those they view as better than themselves or otherwise in their way.” Specifically, Campbell suggests six negative workplace traits that are positively reinforced by gossip:

1. Immaturity: Campbell suggests that gossips are desperate and immature people. As Campbell explains, “They need drama, love, and conflict, and are so deeply unconfident they feel compelled to tell and spread false accusations and stories about others in order to feel a sense of superiority, or to be able to play the ultimate role of the victim.”

2. The need to embellish: The stories gossips tell are heightened “make-believe histrionics,” Campbell says, designed to grab attention. Some people seem to thrive on being the bearers of sensational gossip because of the positive attention and status it brings them. They enjoy this attention so much, Campbell says, that they will inflate facts and add embellishments to make their gossip juicier, more compelling, and more desirable.

3. Emotional violence: Envy is the most violent of all the emotions, Campbell says. People seek to destroy what they envy. One very effective, nonconfrontational way to be emotionally violent is by spreading damaging gossip.

4. Seductiveness: People may try to seduce others by sharing gossip with them. As Campbell explains, “They suck you in for the purpose of eventually exploiting your trust.” Gossips may seduce listeners for a variety of reasons, such as to become popular or to foster feelings of closeness and belonging. But at the core of their gossip is a desire to draw another person in for personal gain.

5. Insecurity: “Tragic insecurity” is at the core of gossip, Campbell says. In fact, people who gossip have poor ego development, she says. Gossiping is a tool insecure people can use to help them feel more secure. It can give them a powerful, fast, and easy way to be looked upon and sought after as a source of credible inside information. That can make them feel self-important and much better about themselves.

6. Being parasitic: As Campbell explains, gossips live off of the emotions and fears of others. They “covertly bully you, and suck you of your emotional well-being and success,” she says. In some cases, gossips feel emboldened and strengthened by leaching onto others, Campbell adds.

Fifteen Gossip-Control Strategies for Medical Practice Managers

Gossip, like other negative human habits and behaviors, is not something you can simply tell people not to do and leave it at that. Your employees will need to understand what gossip is, why gossip is so alluring, and why they must take care not to spread it or be drawn into it by another person. This requires purposeful training. Therefore, you may make gossip a topic at an upcoming staff meeting, and revisit the topic again and again, and especially as new employees join your team. It may help you drive your lessons home if you are able to work with hypothetical gossip scenarios, or even if you revisit actual conversations that you have overheard in your office. Seizing and using teachable gossip moments can be very powerful, but only if you first create a trusting learning environment and then do not assign harsh judgments to others.

In addition, here are 15 gossip-control strategies that can help you to manage gossip in your medical practice:

Communicate regularly and consistently.

Regular communication minimizes the influence of and need for gossip, because everyone is “in-the-know.” As Abbajay warns, “If employees don’t have good information from the supervisor about what is going on, they will make it up in the form of speculation and gossip.” That is why consistent and authentic communication between you and your employees will work wonders in stopping the gossip, she says.

Discourage gossip in official policy.

Include information about gossip in your employee handbook. Convey to your employees that such talk is injurious to morale and productivity and will not be tolerated. Require employees not to initiate gossip, not to participate in it, and not to tolerate it from others. Schwantes suggests that you enact “zero-tolerance” policies on workplace gossip. Says Schwantes, “Many companies protect employees from disclosing sensitive information to others. If, for example, a manager discloses confidential information that leads to workplace gossip about an employee, that manager faces the risk of disciplinary action or even termination.” Stoneburner adds that it is a good idea to state specifically in your handbook that speculation about an employee’s or patient’s personal life is not permitted in your medical practice. Warns Stoneburner, “In a world where soap operas and reality television shows dig into juicy details of affairs and rumors of divorce, a lot of employees continue that drama at work by gossiping about coworkers.”

Nip problems in the bud.

Be proactive. Tell the gossiping employee that you are aware of his or her behavior. Describe the potential negative impact of gossip and point to your personnel policy. As Abbajay suggests, “For some, this single statement will be a realization that will result in immediate change.” Document both the gossip you’ve overheard and your conversation with the employee about it. Include this information in your employee performance evaluations. Specifically state how the employee must change his or her behavior and by when (immediately), and that there will be consequences if he doesn’t. For most employees, “This should be incentive to stop the behavior,” Abbajay says. Adds Robinson-Celeste, “Ignoring that there’s a problem creates a gossip monster.” Gossip will get out of hand quickly if you don’t extinguish it immediately, she says.

Establish employee-driven group discussions about gossiping.

This can be an effective strategy in medical practices where gossiping has run rampant. Encourage your employees to sit face to face and to hold each other mutually accountable for having a “gossip-free” workplace.

Do not engage in gossip yourself.

Obviously, you must model the behavior you want and expect from your employees, or you will encourage the behavior you don’t want and undermine your credibility. As Schwantes suggests, “Be assertive, walk away, or change the subject when the gossip starts. The message you’re communicating to others is that the behavior won’t be tolerated.”

Let your boss know.

Have the courage to inform your immediate supervisor if the gossip in your medical practice is growing and gaining followers. Management that supports a healthy work environment should address the issue in a way that reinforces and promotes a positive culture. Conversely, silence from above will allow a gossip-ridden negative culture to flourish, and even reinforce it.

Don’t stew.

You have two choices if the gossip is about you. You can do nothing and let the gossip run its course. As Abbajay suggests, “Creating a stink sometimes causes more drama than just letting it go.” Or, you can confront the source or make a public statement. You will need to determine which of these strategies will be most effective in each situation. However, the best course is to decide what you will do and then do it. If you decide that you will do nothing, then truly let it go and don’t harbor resentment.

Teach your employees to be empathetic to other employees’ situations.

As Stoneburner suggests, “One of the more damaging types of gossip is the rumor mill that someone is getting disciplined or fired.” Remind your employees that they do not like to be publicly disciplined, Stoneburner suggests. Help them to empathize with an employee who screwed up and who knows that others are talking about it, she says. For more information on helping your staff to be more empathetic toward one another, see my article, “Developing Your Staff’s Empathy.”(8)

Address the perpetrators.

Addressing the perpetrators will take some courage. However, stand up to the lead gossip perpetrators in your medical practice and address them one-on-one in a neutral and private room or office so others can’t overhear. The point is not to put the employee through a pummel session, but, rather, to demonstrate tactfully and with specific examples how your employee’s behavior is affecting and disrupting work. Be prepared that the employee may deny having gossiped or that he or she may name others. These are likely tactics an employee will use when he or she feels defensive.

Encourage and model positive chitchat.

You want your employees not to gossip, but you don’t want to discourage value-neutral and positive conversation. Schwantes suggests that you create a culture where your employees share positive stories about work, patients, and their lives. Says Schwantes, “Think of examples where peers and bosses can communicate to each other what they feel proud about at work. An example would be an employee going above-and-beyond in serving a customer.” Start morning huddles with positive chitchat, Schwantes says, and reinforce the cultural values and key behaviors you want through storytelling.

Keep your private life private.

Unless you have absolute certainty that you can trust a coworker, the rule of thumb is plain and simple: Don’t trust personal information with anyone at work if it has the potential to become fodder for gossip. As Schwantes warns, “The dead giveaway that you’re dealing with serial gossipers is this: If you find them gossiping about others, you can bet that they will be gossiping about you as well. Don’t give them ammunition to do so.”

Say no, and teach your employees to say no.

Gossip needs an audience. As Layne explains, “If no one listens to gossips, the gossipers can’t gossip.” Teach your employees what to do when others attempt to share gossip with them. For more information on this subject, see the sidebar, “How Employees Can Get Out of the Gossip Pipeline.”

Deal with the issue not with the person.

When you do confront an employee who has been gossiping, focus on the issue and behavior rather than on the person. For example, instead of saying, “You are a bad person for gossiping about me,” consider saying, “I am concerned about the gossiping, and I want it to stop.” As Miller(9) suggests, “This way of reacting makes you look better and more professional to anyone else who might hear about it, a fact that can help you politically.” It will also help the employee to stay calm and not react defensively, he suggests.

Warn, document, and fire.

Of course, you want to do everything you can to work with an employee. You will train and coach the person to improve. However, there may come a time when you have done that, when you have warned and documented a gossiping employee repeatedly, and when you have clearly stated in writing how and when the behavior must stop. If the gossip persists after all of your efforts, you are within your rights to fire the employee. As Heathfield(10) warns, “You absolutely should fire an employee who continues gossiping after participating in coaching. One toxic person can drive your good employees out, especially if they see that the behavior is going unaddressed.” Layne adds that there are legal implications if you allow gossip to continue unchecked. Says Layne, “Malicious gossip, such as that someone is involved in criminal acts or using drugs, damages careers, reputations and even health. It can result in lawsuits for defamation, invasion of privacy, harassment and malicious interference with employability.” Both the employer and employees who gossip can be held liable for damages, Layne says. Adds Layne, “Gossip also could result in workers’ compensation claims for physical and emotional injury.”

Be realistic about your expectations.

As Layne warns, “Workplace gossip will never disappear, but employers can limit it.” The best thing you can do is to train your staff about gossip, establish policies, consistently implement them, and remain diligent. You won’t completely eliminate gossip. However, you can and should manage it, Layne suggests.

References

1. Abbajay M. The danger of workplace gossip. Careerstone. www.careerstonegroup.com/z-media/wp-workplace-gossip.pdf . Accessed May 28, 2019

2. Stoneburner CA. 6 do’s and don’ts for handling gossip in the workplace. Mondaq. March 18, 2014. www.mondaq.com/unitedstates/x/300654/Discrimination+Disability+Sexual+Harassment/6+Dos+And+Donts+F+Dos+and+Donts+for+Handling+Gossip+in+the+Workplace+or+Handling+Gossip+In+The+Workplace . Accessed May 28, 2019

3. Robinson-Celeste J. Five steps to stop gossip in the workplace and increase productivity. HuffPost. September 8, 2015. www.huffpost.com/entry/stop-the-gossip-in-the-wo_b_8095760 . Accessed May 28, 2019.

4. Schwantes M. Nine ways to get rid of workplace gossip immediately. Inc, January 25, 2017. www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/if-you-do-these-things-you-qualify-as-a-gossiper-which-research-says-can-ruin-yo.html . Accessed May 28, 2019

5. Layne E. The damage of gossip in the workplace. Chron. https://smallbusiness.chron.com/damage-gossip-workplace-15218.html . Accessed May 29, 2019

6. Daskal L. To gossip or not to gossip: that is the question. Psychology Today, June 16, 2014. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-quest-meaning/201406/gossip-or-not-gossip-is-the-question Accessed May 29, 2019.

7. Campbell S. The six toxic traits of workplace gossips. Entrepreneur. July 21, 2016. www.entrepreneur.com/article/279445 . Accessed May 29, 2019.

8. Hills L. Developing your staff’s empathy. J Med Pract Manage. 2019;34:249-253.

9. Miller J. 12 ways to deal with coworkers who gossip. LinkedIn Learning Author. November 7, 2015. www.linkedin.com/pulse/12-ways-deal-coworkers-who-gossip-joshua-miller/ . Accessed May 30, 2019.

10. Heathfield SM. How to manage gossip at work. The Balance Careers. January 6, 2019. www.thebalancecareers.com/how-to-manage-gossip-at-work-1918782 . Accessed May 30, 2019.

How Rampant Is Workplace Gossip?

According to Miller,(1) workplace gossip is not an occasional problem, but one that is rampant in most workplaces in the United States. Miller offers the following statistics to support this claim:

• 21% regularly gossip at work;

• 15% occasionally gossip;

• 86% gossip regarding corporate challenges; and

• Each gossip session averages 15 minutes.

In many instances, employees feel that gossip is more than just a fact of work life. As Miller explains, “Some employees are adamant that office gossip is an essential part of the workplace and a necessary skill to advance your career and generally be liked by others while staying in the know.” Adds Miller, “When employees spend hours per day together and vie for the same promotions and raises, competition is inevitable.” Miller’s advice? While some workplace gossip is inevitable, “A persistent and long-term gossiper must be stopped to avoid potential damage to others and the culture of a company,” Miller says.

Reference

1. Miller J. 12 ways to deal with coworkers who gossip. LinkedIn Learning Author. November 7, 2015. www.linkedin.com/pulse/12-ways-deal-coworkers-who-gossip-joshua-miller/ . Accessed May 30, 2019.

How Employees Can Get Out of the Gossip Pipeline

Some employees will listen to gossip simply because they don’t want to be rude to the person speaking to them. However, the very act of listening supports and promotes gossiping. As Abbajay(1) suggests, “The more you listen, the more you encourage it.” Likewise, if you don’t listen, the story has nowhere to go, Abbajay says. To help, Abbajay offers the following eight tips for employees who wish to get out of the office gossip pipeline:

1. Be busy. Gossipmongers want attention. If you’re preoccupied with your work, you can’t be available to listen to a gossip’s latest story, Abbajay says.

2. Don’t participate. Walk away from the story. Don’t give visual clues that you are interested in listening. If someone passes a juicy story on to you, don’t pass it any further. As Abbajay aptly puts it, “Take personal responsibility to act with integrity.”

3. Turn it around by saying something positive. It isn’t nearly as much fun to spread negative news if it’s spoiled by a complimentary phrase about the person being attacked, Abbajay suggests.

4. Avoid the gossiper. Have you noticed one person who consistently gossips? If so, take the necessary actions to have as little interaction with that person as possible, Abbajay suggests.

5. Don’t share secrets. Remember, if coworkers are gossiping about others, they will gossip about you, too. “Don’t give them ammunition,” Abbajay says.

6. Choose your friends wisely at work. You spend a good deal of time at work so it’s natural to develop friendships. Share information sparingly until you are sure that you have built up a level of trust. Surround yourself with work friends who don’t gossip, Abbajay says.

7. Be direct. Confront the gossiper and confidently tell him or her that such behavior is making it uncomfortable for you and other coworkers. That’s likely to make the gossip stop, Abbajay says.

8. Don’t be afraid to go to your manager. Gossiping wastes a lot of your medical practice’s time, and it hurts morale. A practice that is interested in a healthy work environment for everyone will value the opportunity to correct this type of problem, Abbajay says.

Reference

1. Abbajay M. The danger of workplace gossip. Careerstone. www.careerstonegroup.com/z-media/wp-workplace-gossip.pdf . Accessed May 28, 2019