The Dynamics of Engaged Listening

We have all seen the listeners, fidgeting in their seats, just waiting for the speaker to take a breath so they can enter the fray. We are reminded of the piercing sarcasm of the commentary, “Are you really listening or just getting ready to talk?” There are five essential themes of engaged listening:

1. The shift from self-focus to other-focus.

2. The judicious use of selective silence.

3. The practice of reflective summary.

4. The application of reflective listening.

5. The commitment to pace down.

Engaged listening begins with a shift from self-focus to other-focus. This shift in focus or perspective may be the most complicated and least-applied aspect of the entire process of engaged listening. The other-focus demands that:

• We really do care about the other party’s views;

• We truly believe others have valuable views to offer;

• We want to hear and understand what ideas they are conveying; and

• We recognize that engaged listening is the precursor to learning from the contributions of others.

The intentionality of this mindset must be augmented by behavioral cues, most of which are expressed nonverbally. This is what others see. Eye contact, active facial expressions, periodic gestures of understanding, and even a smile convey focused attention to the speaker. These expressions also connote respect, interest, and a desire to work collaboratively.

Excerpted from Inspired Physician Leadership: Creating Influence and Impact, 2nd Edition , by Charles R. Stoner, DBA, and Jason S. Stoner, PhD.