Are You the Pessimist on Your Team?

Have you ever been in a meeting where someone puts down every idea or always jumps right to the risks of a new tactic or strategy? They claim that a proposed initiative is doomed to fail or assert that “we’ve tried that before and it didn’t work.”

Or maybe you’re that person? Do you have a sinking suspicion that your colleagues see you as a “Debbie Downer”? Pessimism — the tendency to see the worst in things or believe that the worst will happen — is fairly common, and many of us are drawn to this way of thinking, especially when we’re stressed or overwhelmed. Negativity bias creeps in and we can’t help but focus on the downsides and risks.

If you suspect that you’ve been acting like the pessimist on your team, or perhaps you realize this is a role you often play in groups, what can you do? How can you make sure that your outlook on things, even if it tends to be a bit gloomier than others’, doesn’t drag the team down or hurt your relationships with your colleagues?

What to Do If You’re the Pessimist on Your Team

Understand your “motivational focus”

While optimism is generally seen as a positive trait, there is danger in too much of it. It often results in toxic positivity on a team, where there’s an insistence that people feel and act upbeat even if that’s not what they’re feeling or it ignores the reality of the situation.

One of the ways to better understand your pessimistic tendencies is to think about what’s known as motivational focus. According to this model, prevention-focused people are concerned with safety and often see tasks as a series of obstacles to overcome. Those with a promotion focus tend to think about the future in a positive way and see opportunities where others see insurmountable challenges.

Neither type is better or worse but they do function differently on teams and in organizations. Social psychologists Heidi Grant and E. Tory Higgins explain in their article, “[Prevention-focused people] are often more risk-averse, but their work is also more thorough, accurate, and carefully considered. To succeed, they work slowly and meticulously. They aren’t usually the most creative thinkers, but they may have excellent analytical and problem-solving skills. While the promotion-minded generate lots of ideas, good and bad, it often takes someone prevention-minded to tell the difference between the two.”

This is a much more neutral — even positive — way to understand your pessimism. There are clearly upsides. Still, not everyone on your team may see your attitude as beneficial to the group so it can be helpful to take steps to make sure you aren’t regularly bringing the group’s mood down.

Dig deeper

It can be helpful to understand what might be driving your negative mindset, beyond a prevention focus. Are you burned out or feeling anxious because of something going on at work or in other parts of your life? Are there outside circumstances — like a toxic work environment or a prolonged economic downturn — that are contributing to your outlook? Could you be absorbing the negative attitudes of people around you? Or do you feel like your voice isn’t heard and you have to use negative comments to gain power?

Interestingly, research by Eileen Chou at the University of Virginia shows that pessimists find a sense of control in their negativity. Rather than avoiding responsibility — which they are often accused of doing since claiming things won’t work means they won’t have to take on additional projects — naysayers may be asserting autonomy by disagreeing with the group. Others see them as more authoritative too. As Chou explained to me in an interview for my book, “We assume that most people would shy away from naysayers or exclude them because they’re a drag. But it’s actually quite the opposite. People who have high status are often the people who dole out negative or contrarian remarks.” In other words, you might use negativity to feel powerful, and your cynicism makes others likelier to perceive you that way.

Answer the above questions honestly. If your pessimism is a product of factors that are in your control, then take steps to address those issues. For example, you might talk to your manager about decreasing your workload, or spend time around people you like, especially those who are more uplifting.

Focus on your behavior

Whatever the source of your pessimism, changing your actions is much easier than trying to reform long-held beliefs and values. There are three ways in which pessimism typically shows up: your outlook (you believe that negative events or results are inevitable), a sense of agency (whether or not you feel you can do something that will affect the outcome of a situation), and your behavior (including complaining or putting down others’ ideas). You may not be able to change your outlook — particularly if you’re someone who has a prevention focus — but remind yourself that you do have agency. And you can make choices to change your behavior so that your negativity isn’t infecting anyone else.

You don’t have to bite your tongue every time you see a downside that others don’t notice. But look for more constructive ways to share your view. Instead of “this will never work,” try something like, “I see a few risks to this approach that I’d like to share and discuss.”

Part of examining your behavior is also asking yourself when your pessimism benefits the team and when it hurts. Do you notice that people start to shut down when you express your viewpoint? Or that people avoid you at times? When do they respond well to you? Also consider how you feel about your own outlook — is it serving or stifling you?

Educate yourself on the drawbacks

While there are likely upsides to your pessimism, like the ones I mentioned earlier, research shows that those with a negative attitude are much more likely to struggle than those with a rosier outlook. Michelle Gielan, a researcher who focuses on happiness and success, and therefore, also looks quite a bit at pessimism has shown that pessimists are five times as likely to burn out as optimists. They are also less likely to be highly engaged at work or to have strong relationships with their coworkers or managers. Of course, the data might not match your experience, but keep in mind that adopting a more positive attitude at work could give you a leg up — and will certainly make life easier for those around you.

Modulate your reactions

One of the things that can happen to pessimists is that they get pigeon-holed as someone who is going to be negative at every turn. In other words, people start seeing everything you do and say through a “they’re a pessimist” lens. This can lead to them dismissing your thoughts and ideas, even when they’re valid.

Pushing too hard for your perspective could also make them double down on the positivity. Instead, respect their motivational style and even acknowledge what’s right about their point of view. It helps to admit that you also have optimistic feelings or thoughts, and then validate their perspective — or some aspect of it that you agree with. You don’t have to say, “You’re absolutely right, this project is going to be a glowing success,” if you don’t believe that but you can say, “I hear you, and there’s part of me that agrees this could succeed. Let’s talk about what could get in the way and how to mitigate those risks.”

Overall, try to watch how often you’re being negative and find moments where you can offer (genuinely) positive comments and even agree with one of your more optimistic colleagues. This will help guard against gaining a reputation you can’t shake.

Find an outlet

I don’t want to give the impression that faking a smile at work and never saying anything negative is the answer. There is a lot of evidence that stifling your authentic self or your emotions has harmful outcomes. Instead, consider finding an outlet for your negativity. Having a colleague or friend who you can vent to in private could make it easier to be more positive in public. If there isn’t someone who can play this role for you, consider writing down your thoughts. Putting your concerns and gripes in writing — and then putting them away — should relieve some of the anxiety you feel and give you space to lean into your more positive behaviors.

Like most approaches to work, there is a time and place for pessimism. Think of the dozens of corporate scandals that likely could’ve been avoided had leaders listened to some of the cynics. But raining on people’s parade is rarely welcome so the key is to find ways to moderate your pessimism so that you can be effective — and have healthy relationships with your colleagues.

Copyright 2023 Harvard Business School Publishing Corporation. Distributed by The New York Times Syndicate.

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